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April Fool's '99

Well, this years April fools joke wasn't nearly a succesaful as last years. I guess you guys were on gaurd after seeing last years gag. Also, I think I went a little overboard this year. This time, the news wasn't as believable at all. I did get a lot of comments about how funny it was, though, so I guess you guys liked it for the most part. Anyway, here it is

Mario News: 4/1/99
    Redmond, WA. Nintendo of America surprised the gaming world today by announcing at a press conference that they will release a new system worldwide one month from today, on May 1st, 1999! "The competition is gonna see this thing, and they'll be like 'YOWZA!'", commented Howard Lincoln, president of Nintendo of America when asked about how this new system will stand up to the tough competition of Dreamcast and Playstation 2. Nintendo had little to back up their optimism, however, as there was no hardware or software shown at the conference. When asked why they decided not to show off their system, Lincoln responded "This stuff is really revolutionary. We don't want the competition stealing our ideas before we even get to release them. This whole surprise launch has been super top-secret until now, and it will remain that way until launch." When another reporter then asked why Nintendo was holding a huge conference for such a secret system, Mr. Lincoln didn't seem to hear. Mr. Lincoln was quick to play up what is sure to be the sytems biggest launch title, "Mario's Super-happy Fun Quest" (Japanese translation, the US name should be different (I hope)). "Don't let the name fool you," Lincoln said, "'Mario's Super-happy Fun Quest' is geared towards the older demographic, ages 15-25. It'll have 50 free roaming 3D levels, 10 playable characters (including Luigi, Yoshi, Bowser, and Geno) and a simultaneous two-player mode! This will be the mecca of Mario gaming." When prodded for more details, Lincoln firmly refused, saying he had already given away too much, and we'd just have to wait. Lincoln went on to say that five of the biggest 3rd party developers in the business had already signed up for development, but he couldn't mention any company names because of a non-disclosure agreement. Mr. Lincoln couldn't be nailed down to a price point, but after a barrage of questions on the subject, he did admit it will be in the "sub-$300" range, keeping it competitive. What about the name? "We're still working on that," Lincoln said, "We've narrowed it down to 'Nintendo 64 2', and 'Ultra NES'. We'll have one picked by launch." Lincoln took one last question, and it was the big one...software format. Nintendo is again sticking with cartridges. Lincoln did justify the decision, "With the Nintendo 64, we've started a new trend in gaming back towards the quick loading, sturdy, and compact cartridges. With our next system, we hope to continue a trend so the gaming industry as a whole might follow. Cartridges will also allow for easy backwards compatibility with current N64 titles." Mr. Lincoln then waved off all other questions as he walked out of the conference hall.
Kyle's Commentary: This is certainly very unlike Nintendo. Usually they're the ones who sit and wait, releasing a system only when absolutely necessary. Now they're changing gears and taking everybody by surprise with a quick launch. I doubt they can really get this thing to stores in one month, but if they do, I'm very excited about this new Mario game. A two-player, full 3D Mario with 10 playable characters would be amazing, and with the new system's supposed graphical power, Mario and company should look great. We'll bring you more news and info. on this as we get it. Any questions, comments, or new breaks about this story should be mailed to kyleorl@wam.umd.edu

Bowser's Castle News, 4/1/99
Super Mario, the world's mightiest plumber, is going to get a make over.

"Mario is almost 20 years old," says Shigeru Miyamoto, the creater the Mario Bros. "We change our clothes everyday, yet Mario worn the same old duds for a long time. He deserves a change." And a change he's getting. Detales were slim, but the new Mario won't be wearing overalls.

"Other 'Super Heroes' are passing Mario by in looks," says Tzusamo Lukili, the head designer for the "New Mario". "I want [New Mario] to be more with the times along this. The year 2000 approaches, and Sci Fi seems to be in the mainstream a lot more than it has in the last 20 years."

Nothing more is know about this dramatic change for our pipe fixing pal. More news as it breaks...

Other SMBHQ April '99 jokes
Jay Resop bio
Super Mario Politics preview

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