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[not] Proudly telling you what NOT to send as questions!

Updated 11/21/05

The first one comes from

for super mario world 1 on snes can u please send me all the basic cheats
rememeber super mario world 1???????????


Now, for a relatively novice-intermediate player, you're gonna have to bend the rules, but I found them myself. If I can take the amount of time you wrote that letter, I could have come up with at least 5 sites with all the cheats I know, and then some. Worth it? I think not.

Now from the Wierd Department at

We have 3 different systems. Do you have cheat codes for Super Mario 3 for the NES? I have some codes for 64 and my sega but none for Super Mario 3.

I do, but what would you like, Buddy? I won't give you anything until I know specifics.

From the Department of Duh, riddles me this:

Lets see you answer this then do you know how to get Luigi in Mario 64
Please put this up on the mailbag.

Oh, I'll put it in the mailbag, all right. I'll put it in this mailbag!

And and and be be be sure sure sure to to to print print print this this this letter letter letter from from from

Letter #1:
hi, as we all now luigi has left out of a lot of games right?so my idea is
super mario kart advance should be called mario bros.kart advance.why not
super it's too long.:)besides i miss the bros. on the end of super mario titles
Letter #2:
Hi, i think Mario kart advance could be called super mario bros. kart advance
because luigi has been left out of to many games and besides i miss the bros.
on the end of mario games
Letter #3:
Hi,for mario kart advance i would like the title to be super mario
bros.kart advance because i fill that luigi is getting left out of many
mario games such as super mario 64 it would have been a much better game, I'm no expert, but I think since all 3 letters are stating the same thing, they must be from the same person. That's why they all ended up here.

Names have not been removed to not protect the ignoramuses:

hi i couldnt find anyone else on the site to ask but could you possibly link our site to yours or some other mario sites?
our site is
it isnt fully complete but it will be very soon thnx o by the way my name is Mario.

(site reads "I haven't started building my site yet. Please check back soon!")... Isn't fully complete? Hell, you haven't even started yet!

Questions similar to Sean Kelly's first indunction into the haul have already been asked (and answered) in the mailbag twice. This specific e-mail comes from Katie McGuire:

I have an xbox and i love mario!!!!!!!!!!!!!! espescially mario cart and mario party6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they are my favorite games and i play them at my friends house ALL the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know you are going to tell me to just buy a gamecube but if you just came out with mario games for xbox not only would I buy them but so would my friends with xboxs because they LOVE mario too!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and we're all really mad because WE cant play it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE MAKE MARIO GAMES FOR XBOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and please email me back explaining why you dont already have it for xbox!!!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have here a perfect example of someone who seems to cannot (or possibly will not) understand that Mario was created by and is owned, operated, and exclusive to Nintendo.

Newest letters:

lizco2005 can't tell comix from games:

Subject: Fred The Spanyad

what mario game is this guy in? ive only seen him in kirby superstar.

Doesn't this person realize that he/she answered his/her own question?

Tina Kelley (no relation) annoys us not once, but twice:


That's nice.

Hello. Do you guys hate Pokemon? Well I think it SUCKS! Out loud! If you saw a Pikachu what would you do? Well I would shot it so hard it would fall over in a milisecond! Well E-mail back when you get this! Ok!

And that has to do with Mario in what way?Remember folks, questions like these two will only get you deleted (or posted here).

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